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How To Become A Good Listener

Book Review: How to Listen by Oscar Trimboli

Listening is something we all do every day, yet it’s often taken for granted. We hear words, sounds, and noises, but how often do we truly listen? In How to Listen, Oscar Trimboli explores the art of listening deeply, not just hearing what’s said, but understanding it and responding thoughtfully. His message is clear: listening is a skill we can improve, and doing so can transform our relationships, workplaces, and overall well-being.

The book is divided into practical insights and exercises that show readers how they can become better listeners. Trimboli explains that good listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about truly absorbing what the other person is trying to communicate, both verbally and non-verbally. He introduces several key concepts to improve listening, such as eliminating distractions, being present, and focusing on understanding the speaker’s emotions.

One of the most interesting parts of the book is the idea that people don’t always say what they mean, and that’s where listening becomes an art. Often, there’s more happening underneath the words: tone, body language, and even silence can carry as much weight as the spoken language. Trimboli urges readers to look beyond the words and pay attention to what’s not being said. This insight really stood out to me because it’s easy to forget how much people communicate through their actions or their pauses in conversation.

Trimboli also brings up the concept of “listening between the lines,” which I found fascinating. He argues that effective listening means you have to be able to sense the context in which the conversation is happening. For example, when someone says they’re “fine,” there may be a hidden layer of frustration, sadness, or something else that needs to be uncovered through careful listening. This made me realize how often we settle for surface-level communication without digging deeper to understand what the other person is truly experiencing.

Another great takeaway from this book is the concept of the “listening window.” Trimboli suggests that we only have a limited time to truly listen before people’s minds start to wander or they begin to feel ignored. By being conscious of this, we can focus on keeping the conversation engaging and interactive, making sure we’re responding to what’s being said rather than simply waiting for our turn to speak.

While the book is filled with helpful tips, exercises, and frameworks, what I appreciated most is the way Trimboli ties everything back to the idea that good listening leads to stronger, more meaningful connections. He doesn’t just present listening as a skill; he presents it as an important tool for building trust and empathy with others. By focusing on listening, we not only improve our personal and professional relationships, but we also learn to be more empathetic and compassionate.

I think one of the most powerful points Trimboli makes is that listening is a gift you give to others. By truly listening, you show the other person that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter. It’s a way of respecting their humanity. In a world where many people are rushing through conversations, distracted by phones or their own thoughts, truly listening feels like an act of kindness and connection. It’s an invaluable skill that can make a huge difference in the quality of our interactions.

In terms of readability, How to Listen is easy to follow, with clear, simple language. The exercises and examples are relatable, and the actionable steps make the content practical for anyone to apply. Even though the book provides a lot of insight into effective listening, it doesn’t overwhelm the reader with complicated jargon or theories. Instead, it’s like having a conversation with a friend who wants to help you become a better listener.

If there’s one thing I would’ve loved to see more of, it’s perhaps a deeper dive into how listening can be improved in different contexts, like at work or in difficult conversations. But even with that, I think Trimboli does a fantastic job of laying the foundation for any reader to improve their listening skills and, in turn, improve their relationships.

In conclusion, How to Listen is a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their listening skills. It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to be more empathetic, build stronger relationships, and communicate better. In a world full of distractions and noise, learning to truly listen is a skill that can make a significant impact. This book reminds us that the best way to connect with others is not through speaking, but through listening.

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